Cherish the Love

“Love, like a river, will cut a new path whenever it meets an obstacle.” – Crystal Middlemas.  How very true!  If you have not experienced this, then you have not really loved the way Middlemas describes it.

     When I was a teenager, I dreamed of marrying an intelligent, beautiful and rich girl. When I became a teenager, I sought that girl in the playground, in church, in the market place and in parties.  But I did not find her there.  Instead, I found her in college many years later.  I first saw her in the auditorium playing a lilting musical piece on the piano.  I did not know her then nor did I bother to introduce myself.

     One Saturday afternoon during one of our social activities in college, I saw her walking down the stairs, so beautiful in her party dress.  She introduced herself to me as a courtesy because her father was the boss of my father.  In turn I was nice to her because my father was the subordinate of her father.  It was in this light that we started our friendship, a friendship that blossomed into love.  She was sixteen but I was not seventeen.  I was seven years older than she.  That age gap did not stop us from falling in love.

     Like me she also belonged to the top ten scholars of the college.  She came from a very rich family from the province of Antique.  She was very beautiful.  She was a poet.  She was a painter.  I found a beautiful, intelligent and rich girl. How could I let her go? 

     I married her when she turned seventeen.  To make this happen, we created a lot of drama that left the family no choice but to marry us off.  We were also good actors!

     The wedding party lasted three days.  This was so because her family was politically connected and had to entertain the whole province.

     That was 43 years ago.

     Today my wife and I have raised eight children, a boy and seven girls.  Our son, the firstborn, is a nurse.  Our first daughter holds a doctor of philosophy degree from Stanford University after a BA from UC Berkeley and an MFA from UCLA.  The second earned a doctor of philosophy degree from the UC Berkeley.  The third is completing her MBA from Mills College after a BA from UC Berkeley.   The fourth holds a JD from UC Davis Law School.  The fifth is on her second year of a five-year full scholarship to earn a Ph. D. in anthropology from Harvard University.  All are renowned in their fields of expertise.  A Google search will reveal their works.  The last two girls stay home with us and are attending a community college in Henderson, NV.

     Contrary to the usual logical conclusion, life, the way we have been living it, has not been all a bed of roses.  There have been countless obstacles that came our way.  Somehow, love always found a way through.  The love that we share...like a river, always cut a new path whenever it met an obstacle.  My indiscretions, her wanton spending, our irresponsible decisions and all the other ugly detractions remain no match to this surging river of love.

     Why does this love surge like a river?  In my considered opinion, this is due to the spiritual tenets on which it is founded.  Jesus, our Lord and Savior, is the focal point of this love.  This love will endure because Jesus lives!

     Who is this love that I so cherish?  Her name is Cecilia, my kantutay flower who has remained so young-looking and beautiful; my prolific poet and writer; my concert pianist; my intelligent and creative woman; my gifted artist-painter; the mother of my eight accomplished children.  She successfully combined raising a family and working a career.

     Ces and I do not have the monopoly of a storied love.  You, too, have yours.

     On this month of friendship, let us each cherish the love!

Friendship Month

“The bird a nest, the spider a web, man friendship,” said William Blake, English poet, painter, engraver; one of the earliest and greatest figures of Romanticism whose work was filled with religious visions rather than with subjects from everyday life.

     It appears to me that I am moving towards the same kind of vision for it seems that everyday events in life always take in hand religious experiences.  We say grace.  We wish people well.  We love.  We take care of ourselves.  We take care of others.  They are to me real religious experiences.

     Friendship, a manifestation of charity, especially comes to mind in February, the month of friendship for everyone.  Our very nature of being gregarious extrapolates how we exhibit this friendship.

     We join organizations that provide cherished friendships like alumni associations, service organizations, fraternities, sodalities and the like.

     I am especially touched by the AISAAM, an association of former students and staff of the American/International School of Manila.  These exemplary people show their appreciation of their friendship through chat rooms and reunions and reminisce on “glory days” and work together to immortalize the relationships with special projects and visits.  I am happy to be identified with this group.  Truly, the connection has kept me young and proud of these my former students and co-workers!

     Then, too, there is my membership in the Knights of Columbus, a fraternal service organization that combines the practice of religious beliefs and serving the community.  I have made good friends there who share my ways of bringing social amelioration assistance to the unfortunate and destitute squatters of Las Piñas City, Philippines for the last six years.

     Beyond these, we recognize special friendships that transcend challenges, tragedies, successes and happiness and now rest in a surreally spiritual pedestal.  I am referring to that unfathomable relationship we have with our spouses.  We keep going together despite the tribulations.  We continue to build beyond rhyme and reason for we believe in that marriage bond and know our moral and spiritual responsibilities.

     What about that really special friendship beyond our spouses that has overcome the test of time?  Some have lovers…Prince Charles?  Others, just extraordinary friends!

     I have a number of extraordinary friends.  Yet, one stands out!  His name is Eddy.  We have been friends since our freshman year in college over 45 years ago.  We have no legal bonds to keep us going as friends.  We just mutually keep the friendship going with no expectations of any kind.  We see ourselves in each other.  We both struggle the same way in making our lives better.  We share the same interests in writing, in community work, in teaching, in religion, in love and in never leaving anyone in need to the extent we are able to.  We see each other beyond our faults.  We forgive each others shortcomings and transgressions without conditions.  We never judge each other.  We are just there to help one another.  Our families have grown together with us.  My children are his children.  His children are my children.

     We are more than just friends.  We are more than just brothers.  I believe that what Eddy and I have is building on the spirituality of friendship that Jesus perfectly lived with His people.